helpful during these trying times – a kind of public service. Lately stories about the new healthcare
laws and how insurers are scramblin’ to cut – reinstate or adapt coverage have dominated the news.
The problems have been particularly difficult here in some parts
of the south because the medical terminology is so . . . different. As a writer, decipherin’ language is important, so with some help from the internet I’m gonna take a brief break from Pirates, GALLOWS POINT & general storytellin’ to explain the lingo so y’all can cogitate on it
a spell.
Benign – What you be, after you be eight.
Artery – The study of paintings
Bacteria – Back door to the cafeteria
Barium – what doctors do when patients die
Cesarean section – a neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan – searching for kitty
Cauterize – made eye contact with her
Coma- a punctuation mark
D & C – Where Washington is
Dilate – to live long
Enema – Not a friend
Fester – quicker than someone else
Fibula – a small lie
GI series – world series of military baseball
Hangnail – what you hang your coat on
Impotent – distinguished, well-known
Labor pain – getting hurt at work
Medical staff – a doctor’s cane
Morbid – a higher offer
Nitrates – cheaper than day rates
Node – I knew it
Outpatient – a person who has fainted
Pap Smear – A fatherhood test
Pelvis – second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative – a letter carrier
Recovery room – place to do upholstery
Rectum – darn near killed him
Secretion – hiding something
Seizure – a Roman emperor
Tablet – a small table
Terminal Illness – getting sick at the airport
Tumor – one plus one more
Urine – opposite of you’re out
Varicose – nearby / close by
